AFK · Away From Keyboard (Spiritually)

Who you are

You aren’t lazy. You’re running in power-saving mode, which is a completely valid feature. You read the group chat, you replied in your heart, and somehow your thumbs never got the memo. The world is loud; you chose to spectate.

You have perfected the art of the low-cost existence: minimal plans, minimal drama, maximum blanket. The roast: your "be right back" from last Tuesday is still pending. The compliment: when you do show up, you’re genuinely, calmly present, which most people never manage.

The AFK blueprint

Superpowers

• Immune to drama. It simply can’t find you.
• Excellent at doing nothing beautifully
• Never overcommits, so never burns out
• Calm presence in any crisis

Known bugs

• Message response time measured in business weeks
• Hobbies include "lying down, but differently"
• Your houseplants have learned to fend for themselves

AFK, a day in the life

Wakes up, considers the concept of the day, returns to bed for a short tactical review. At work you do exactly what’s needed and not one extra pixel. In friendships you’re the low-maintenance friend everyone secretly treasures: you never need a reason, a plan or a party, just snacks and the couch.

Soulmate & nemesis

Spotted with

• don’t disturb, permanently
• blanket burrito
• seen 3 days ago
• low power mode

By the numbers