About this quiz
Attachment theory began with psychiatrist John Bowlby, who argued that the bond between children and their caregivers shapes how we seek comfort and safety. Around 1970, psychologist Mary Ainsworth observed one-year-olds briefly separated from a parent and described distinct patterns of reunion. In 1987, Cindy Hazan and Phillip Shaver reported that adults display similar patterns in romantic relationships, and the idea has fascinated people ever since.
Modern research describes adult attachment along two dimensions. Attachment anxiety is how much you worry about rejection and whether people will stay. Attachment avoidance is how uncomfortable you are with closeness and depending on others. Combine low or high on each and you get four styles: secure (low on both), anxious (high anxiety), avoidant (high avoidance) and fearful-avoidant (high on both), a four-part picture popularized by Kim Bartholomew and Leonard Horowitz in 1991.
This quiz turns that model into 16 everyday moments, from an unanswered text to a partner who says "We need to talk." Each answer nudges your anxiety and avoidance scores, and your result shows both numbers along with your style. If either score sits near the middle, we point you to the neighboring style too, because real people rarely fit one box perfectly.
Attachment patterns are not fixed. They can vary between relationships and often become more secure with supportive partners, friendships and self-awareness. Use your result as a conversation starter, not a label.
How it works
- Picture yourself in each relationship scenario and pick the reaction closest to what you would really do or feel.
- Think about romantic relationships in general, or friendships if you are not dating right now.
- See your anxiety and avoidance scores, your attachment style and tips for each style.
FAQ
Is this attachment style quiz accurate?
It is a fun, research-inspired self-reflection tool, not a validated questionnaire. Research questionnaires, such as the 36-item ECR-R, use carefully tested statements and scoring norms. Your result is a starting point for thinking about your patterns.
What are the four attachment styles?
Secure (comfortable with closeness and independence), anxious (worries about rejection and seeks reassurance), avoidant (values independence and is uneasy with intense closeness) and fearful-avoidant (wants closeness but also fears it).
Can my attachment style change?
Yes. Researchers find that attachment patterns can shift over time and with different partners. Stable, supportive relationships and self-understanding often help people feel more secure.
Is this quiz free and private?
It is completely free with no sign-up, and your answers are scored in your browser. They never leave your device.
What if I am single?
Answer based on past relationships or close friendships. The same patterns of reassurance and distance usually show up there too.
For entertainment and self-reflection only; not a clinical or psychological assessment and not a diagnosis. If relationship worries feel overwhelming, consider talking with a licensed counselor.